This, That, and Whatever!

So many things to talk about and not enough time!!! How is everyone? Please leave a comment and let me know. My blog expires in 5 days. Please let me know if you get ANYTHING out of it and would like me to continue. I get paid $O.for this blog. It is more of an outlet for the many thoughts that run through my brain and I hope to inspire SOMEONE with the content. That being said, it COSTS me to continue. But I will if enough of you think I should.

I love to hear the birds sing outside. Am I weird? Does anyone else enjoy this too? Since this may very well may be my last blog, I’m going to lay it all out here. Do you know what I hate most in life? I most hate fake people-you know, the kind who are friendly to your face but talk about you behind your back kind of people. And I mean talk about you in not a good way. This can even be family members. Most church people I have found, fall into this category. With them it is disguised as “fellowship” or “prayer requests.” I’m not talking about true blue Christians, but church going fakes. There are a lot of them. I used to be one of them, lol!

I miss some aspects of my youth. Holding my grandmother’s hand and walking to the store. It seemed like such a long way to walk. I miss the simple things in life like just talking to people face to face. There was absolutely no such thing as “social media” in the 70s!  What have we become as a society? Family members hide behind a keyboard & texting has become the accepted way to communicate. That is so sad to me.

I also hate “obligatory gifts.” You know the kind-the quick “run into Wal-Mart because it is this day or that day sort of gift.A simple call once in awhile would suffice. Flowers die. Oh but Stephanie-it’s the THOUGHT that matters! Exactly! Not much THOUGHT went into that “hurry up, obligatory gift.!” Why do people spend so much time trying to impress others? The façade can only last so long. Sadly, some have perfected the façade. At the end of the day, when there is no one but you and your conscience, you will always be a miserable person because you know that you have done wrong. Keeping up a façade is hard work.

The love of dogs: Dogs are smart. They know how to “train” their masters. Dogs will not starve to death. They will eventually eat what is put down for them if they get hungry enough. Yet, we always want to attribute human characteristics to canines. They look at you with “those eyes” and oh. my. god. Pulease feel sorry for them! Leave the damn dry food down for them and they will eventually eat it! They are great companions and know when to die. We stupid humans are the ones who keep them alive for our own selfishness. Sad to say, this goes on with human beings too.

Do you want to know what the problem with healthcare really is? Go and observe at a buffet. Human gluttony at is finest! No personal responsibility exists much these days. The “I want to do as I want to do then expect the medical world to fix me” mentality has got to stop! The entitlement mentality has got to go! No one, absolutely no one, owes you anything! And for shit’s sake, stop listening to the news and all of the propaganda! Get educated! Think for yourself!

Nurses are people too. We get tired, we get hungry, and we have to pee. Yet so MUCH falls on our shoulders. We do NOT have control over when the physician will see you. We CANNOT tell you the results of your tests. We are NOT waitresses that can get coffee for all 15 of your family members who decide to show up! We do NOT make up the questions that we have to ask you on admission. In fact we HATE asking most of them. I’m sorry that you think they are stupid and unnecessary, but guess what? I think it’s STUPID that you don’t even know what medications you take! PERSONAL RESPONSIBILITY PEOPLE!!! I wish I had a $100.00 for every time a patient stated, “It should be all there in the computer.” Well guess what? It isn’t always accurate, especially if it has been a few months since you’ve been to the hospital. We also do NOT know when you will get a room. You came to US remember? We did NOT go out searching for you. Yet, you’re getting the help you need & the treatment you need at the time,even though it may not be the most luxurious accommodations, so shut the HELL up! Yet we continue to give service with a smile and treat you like royalty.

On running: It does not ruin your knees, blow out your back or give you heart failure, but guess what does? Being overweight, having diabetes, hypertension, high cholesterol, having a sedentary lifestyle, eating CRAP, smoking, poor dental hygiene, and NOT following your prescribed regimen and/or not taking your medication! I am always amazed how patients cannot pay for their $4.00 prescription but continue to buy cigarettes! Pardon me if I do not cry for you Cleopatra! The sob stories – ad nauseum! I have said it before, and I’ll say it again. If it is running that kills me, I shall die a happy person who has lived a full, active life…and able to fit in an airplane/amusement park seat.

So I shall close with this: Who were you before the world told you who you should be? Why aren’t you acting on those dreams and goals? Quit making excuses and start living, because dying is inevitable!

Your feedback is important to me. Please let me know in the next day or so. That being said, if this is the end…hope to see you out on the road or trails!!!

Stephanie

When Life Gives You Lemons

I’m sure we have all heard the various takes on this phrase- make lemonade, add vodka, etc. I don’t particularly hate lemons although they can leave a sour taste in the mouth. I’m pretty sure that is what the author of this phrase meant in regards to something that can be distasteful or disappointing.

My last post I was entering my last 27 days of training before taking on 100 miles. My last long run was exactly 2 weeks ago-a 20 miler that felt sluggish at best and left me feeling really beat up. I could have blamed it on the intense wind that day or the fact that is was day 3 of back to back long runs, but that was not the case as I was soon to discover.

Enter The Lemons: I awoke the next day ready to go to work but feeling a bit “off.” I thought I was just a little sore from the intense 3 day runs so I arrived to work ready to tough it out. Have you ever had one of those “pseudo reality” experiences? Like arriving at your destination without recollection of how you got there? I sort of felt like I was floating and then the intense chills/rigors/body aches set in. I left after 30 minutes, realizing I was going to be a worthless nurse that day.

I seldom miss work, but for the next three days I was behaving something like this:

Baby Rex the Chihuahua

Needing a Dr. excuse for the 3rd day of missed work, I embarked on urgent care for the first time. Nasal swab confirmed influenza B. So much for mandatory flu vaccines. I have honestly not been that sick since the early 90s. The body aches were so intense that I could NOT get comfortable no matter what I did. I maxed out on ibuprofen and took Tylenol for the first time in at least 15 years. I soaked through bed sheets at least three times a night for 4-5 nights. M-I-S-E-R-A-B-L-E! By Saturday (day 5), it had settled into my lungs/chest and every cough felt like I was going to hack up a lung and felt like an inferno in my lungs. The thick, green phlegm that came up (sorry) told me that I was now sporting a good bacterial infection that was not going to go away without antibiotics.

Urgent Care Trip Two: Having been there once, I thought, “Okay, this will be a breeze. I’ll tell them what I need (after all I AM an RN), they’ll write me a prescription for an antibiotic, and I’ll be on my way and feeling better in about 48 hours.” I can now appreciate when patients say that doctors don’t listen to them. The “full of himself” physician told me that he was sure that it was viral and that I did not need an antibiotic. I’m so glad that he came to this conclusion without a chest x-ray or sputum sample. Holy crap-me knowing my own body and what it needs surely was not enough! I left with a prescription for steroids and tessalon pearls because CLEARLY the doctor knows best! The ONLY reason that I filled the prednisone was because I had also developed an itchy rash on my chest & on both ankles and I knew that steroids would calm that down. I did not fill the tessalon pearls because I hate taking medication that makes me feel loopy. It was only to suppress the cough anyway. The fact that he would not listen and almost insisted that I smoked (asking 3 times) left a REALLY sour taste in my mouth. Talk about lemons!

What is a nurse to do when she has to return to work the following Monday. She takes matters in her own hands and uses the internet to get what she wants. I’m pretty sure that feeling like I was drowning, not being able to breathe and wheezing was indicative of something more serious to which an antibiotic would be effective. Long story short, I got my antibiotic and within 48 hours was feeling much better although the cough seems to be hanging on without the burn. For all I know, I could have had a touch of pneumonia or RSV. I was never checked for either. What I DO know is that I NEVER want to be that sick again. I’m pretty sure my body could have fought it off after being exposed to the germs at work, but doing those back to back long runs expended all of the energy that was needed to fight it. Who knew?

Lemons. The two things I love doing the most -running and eating, I could have cared less about. I missed key training runs leading up to the ultra. The weather here in Missouri has been bipolar lately with cold, damp mornings and chilly, windy days. I have since started running again on my treadmill, embracing it like an old friend. I am not going to run outside until the weather levels out. It’s just not worth the risk of relapse.

Not quite 2 weeks, but close

Lemons. Where does this leave my ultra? I had at first bumped down to the 50 miler, contacting the race director who was gracious enough to do that for me. But as of this writing, my gut is telling me that although I know I could do it (12 days away & I am THAT stubborn), it would probably not be the best decision. The long range forecast is calling for low 40s that morning with a high in the 50s. Normally great running weather, but not when one has another week of antibiotics to take, sweating and cooling off in those temps would not be wise. Weird to be side-lined by illness instead of injury.

One of my greatest pet peeves as a nurse is non-compliant patients. I have to practice what I preach, and putting my body through that much stress when I have been the sickest I have been in 20 years would be a foolish decision. I missed a Shamrock 5k I was registered for as well. So unfortunately, I will take the big DNS (Did Not Start). This decision was not made lightly and is definitely disappointing.

Good Advice

My focus will now turn to training & being completely healthy for Grandma’s Marathon in Duluth this June with some of my fabulous running group friends. I will also run the Hospital Hill 1/2 Marathon this year having not ran it for several years. I’ll see how many other states I can knock off over the summer with the half marathon & do some more trail runs. Will I sign up for another 100? I don’t know. It is a HUGE time commitment. At this point I am happy just to be able to breathe and feel like myself again.

Enjoy the journey

 

That makes me happier than three turtles sunning on a log!

Hope to see you out on the road or trails,

Stephanie