Living in the Present; Reflecting on the Past (Part I)

Today was a day of firsts for many, in my town at least. It was the first day back to school after summer vacation. What??? Wait a minute. The calendar still says August and the thermometer is registering 90 degrees. In fact, I cut my planned seven mile run down to four today because I didn’t get out until 1:00 p.m. I truly do not understand the concept of starting school this early. What ever happened to starting the day after Labor Day?

Ah, the ponderables of life! I don’t know when the powers that be decided to start school in the middle of August, but for the record, I think it is ridiculous (Disclaimer: this is MY blog, with MY opinions. If you do not like what I say that is fine. Leave a comment and frankly my dear, I do NOT give one good DAMN)!

Okay, now that that is off my chest, let’s move on shall we? After seeing all the facebook posts of others’ back to school photos, I am SO thankful that that period of my life is over. It was fine at the time, because that was the season of life that I was in, but I do not miss it one iota! Thankfully, my kids are all grown and married. I have had an “empty nest” for quite some time. It is the natural flow of things.

I remember my first day of kindergarten. I DID NOT want to be there. I remember screaming and crying when my mom left. It was SO different than what kids experience now. It was in a little building called “Washington School.” Only kindergarten was held there. It was my first real social experience.

I can only recall a few things that happened there, like the boy eating the string when we were playing some game with marshmallows, and of course, the dreaded “nap time” on the mats. I always got in trouble for fidgeting and giggling. Such a concept, kindergarten.

At any rate, summer IS winding down. School starting at crazy times or not, some things never change and are not controlled my mankind. Take for instance this little guy:

I say “guy” because it is the male that makes the loud shrill droning noise. “He” got in my house and was very noisy! He was whisked out and I found him dead the next day out in the yard (it is an educated guess that it was him). That familiar noise of the cicada in this part of the good old U.S.A. is a familiar sound of the end of summer. I always thought they were cute little creatures. Those big old eyes had me at “hello!”

It got me to reflecting on other aspects of summer as a kid. I don’t mind extremely hot weather that much because I didn’t grow up with an air conditioner for a good portion of my childhood. When we did get it, it was a window unit that froze the room it was in, but the bedrooms were still relatively hot. What was central air? Fans were put in the hallway to try to blow the cooler air to the bedrooms. Being overly hot and going indoors was a real treat. I spent most of my time outdoors riding my bike, going on adventures in the woods, going to the pool, playing in the hose, catching snakes and toads, or just hanging out. It was the best of times. Then when the frigid window unit made me too cold, I would go back outside to get warmed up!

Drive In movies were always a fun summer thing to do. My mom would pop big paper grocery sacks full of popcorn, load up the neighborhood kids, and we’d all go to the drive in. My mom made sure we had a fun childhood to the best of her ability, even though she worked full time.

I think about my parents a lot and how they have affected my life. My mother was 20 years old when she married my dad on his 30th birthday. Ironically, I married the first time at 20 and my daughter recently got married at age 20. The apples don’t fall too far from the trees evidently. My mother gave me her wedding dress from 1958  and I have had their cake topper for many years.

I look at these two people and wonder what they saw in each other. I heard so many stories growing up from my paternal grandmother (who was my primary babysitter), but I was a child. I know that my dad was married once before, very briefly. My childhood was pretty turbulent. Though I love these two people very much, their legacy lives on in their children-some good, some bad. It is by trying to make sense of the past that I am trying to make sense of the present.

Come on this journey with me, won’t you? Maybe you can add to the tapestry that weaves itself together in this thing called life. Maybe we aren’t so different. Maybe we can learn from each other. I hope so.

I have 7 weekends of racing starting this weekend. Hope to see you out on the roads or trails!

Stephanie

Oh the Agony of da Heat & da Knees!

Catchy title eh? It should more appropriately be called, “A Tale of Two Cities” but I think that was already claimed by Dickens & it was set in London & Paris before the French Revolution. I could have called it, “Three Strikes You’re Out,” (appropriate since it’s baseball season), or I could just lay it all out there in Stephanie style and tell you how I see it.

This is of course, my experience with running Grandma’s Marathon 2016, which just so happened to be it’s 40th anniversary. Anniversaries are lovely things, but that is fodder for another blog. Note the featured image. It was 64 degrees and overcast the day I arrived in Duluth, Minnesota. I was thankful that I had seen fit to bring my long compression pants as rain was in the forecast for race day (they weren’t needed after all).

The Expo: It intrigues me to experience different cities/marathons and their expos. Having just experienced Hospital Hill in KC, for the umpteenth time, it was quite the contrast (as much as the cool temps from the upper 90s in KC)! It was held in the Duluth Entertainment Convention Center or DECC. One had to go through most of the vendors to get to the packet pick up area. That was fine, as I got to sample some wonderful coffee-“Arco” brand that I made sure to purchase at a local grocery store and bring home. The “problem” as I saw it was that it was way too congested. I thought Twin Cities was asses & elbows, but this was much worse! I like to shop at expos and tend to spend too much money, but I couldn’t seem to think of a thing that I needed at this one! I picked up  my bib/packet without much fanfare, got my freebies, and left.

On to locate the Motel. Duluth is beautiful by the way, and if you have a chance to visit, I would highly recommend it! I should mention at this juncture, that the whole premise of running this marathon was camaraderie with some of my fellow running group rock stars. I would have liked to have gotten a New York qualifying time, but I wasn’t training for it in particular. I was mostly “along for the ride.” Having said that, the “group” which arrived in various fashion-planes, trains, & cars (ok, maybe not trains), were planning on having dinner together at a pizzeria just across the state line in Wisconsin.

Nutrition & Fueling: I have learned through the years, that I cannot eat past 4pm before race day & expect good outcomes. Since the group was meeting at 5:30pm, that meant that eating would most likely commence a little after 6pm & not end before 6:30pm or 7pm. Not a good plan for me. I was in bed by 8pm.

Race Day: 0300 alarm, out the door by 0530 and just in time for shuttle bus to the start at Two Harbors by 0545. It was 33 miles to the start from the motel. The course ran along Lake Superior, ending in Duluth. My group had boasted that this was a “flat” course, with one hill toward the end. I beg to differ. To me, it was like 24 miles of Rockhill Road in Kansas City. There were a few downhills, but not many. I was just pleased as a peacock that it was not raining and that the temp was 70ish to start. Still a far cry from the 90’s in KC.

My people showed up group by group, depending on where they stayed. It was a great sight to see the orange finally arrive! A quick photo and we all headed to our respective corrals (if you could call it that). Supposedly, 9600 people were registered to run the full marathon. I had no plan, other than to hover from the 3:45 to the 3:55 pacers.

I should have hit the porta-potty the final time before the start, but I didn’t, lying to myself that the urge would pass. It didn’t. Thankfully, there were the familiar blue vertical rectangles along the route before even hitting a mile. I had to stop, knowing I would be thinking about it the entire time and not doing my best.

That taken care of, I tried to make up time by sprinting-never a good idea at the start of a race, especially on what appeared to be mostly uphill! I caught a glimpse of one of the running group girls, caught up to her & we chatted for a bit. There was a random runner (female) with some odd coin type skirt thingy over her shorts that kept “jingling.” I can’t tell you how much I wanted to rip that thing off of her! How freaking annoying! By mile 4-5, I took in my first GU and my first Saltstick cap by mile 6. I was feeling actually pretty good and on my normal pace.

It was great to have volunteers handing out cups of ice, because the temps were starting to increase. By the halfway point, I was at around a 2:04 and was starting to feel a bit fatigued. Fatigue and heat I can handle, but what was about to come, I could not.

I started to feel a little niggle in my right knee around mile 16. “Crap,” I thought. “Maybe it will just go away.” I was hitting every water station and walking through them. It wasn’t cramps, but the old IT band from many months ago, laughing at me. Another girl from the group showed up at one point and we ran some together until she needed the porta-potty. She caught up to me and passed me as I needed to hit the johnny room again (so much for nutrition planning)!

Nothing smells quite as horrific as a porta-potty on a hot day in June, especially when one is having digestive problems and feeling some queasy. At that point, I decided that I just did not care about time anymore and I just wanted to finish. I could handle this-two 10ks & I had it whooped! By mile 19, the wheels fell completely off as BOTH knees were crapping out and I decided at that point that I was just going to have fun and get through the final 7.2 miles any way that I could. So I started taking pictures.

It was after all, a beautiful course. I made sure to get in some photo ops with the locals, Elvis seemed to be popular :I think it’s around mile 22 that Scenic Hwy 61 crosses over into Duluth. All I know is that I was going to capture this monumental moment. Every time I saw the “First Aid/Dropout” signs, it was oh so tempting!!! Ok-only 4.2 miles to go! My knees were screaming. I tore my sweat rags and tied them around both knees. I was hot, nauseated, and hurting. So thankful for the people along the way who graciously sprayed us!

A fellow runner, who ironically was having IT band problems as well, offered to take my pic in the sprayer. Runners are so awesome! It wasn’t long after this when a couple more from my group passed me & were aiming for a PR. I tried to stay with them but the knees said, “no way!” I then employed the 1 min run/30 sec walk routine. This worked for awhile. Finally mile 23. There was a guy with a beer bong, and boy was it tempting! Anything to numb the pain!

“Only” a 5k to go! As any marathoner knows, the last 5k is mostly mental-especially on a good running day. I just kept thinking, “Okay, I can walk 10 min miles and be done with this beast in a little over 30 minutes.” I didn’t even notice the hazard signs that had gone up.

Photo credit: Runner’s Edge

“Full steam ahead!” I only wished. The same girl from early on caught up with me again and another whom I thought had long passed me. We had about 1.5 miles to go and I thought I could finish with them, but the last little downhill on the brick road was too much for the knees and I had to walk once again. My time between miles 25 & 26 was 15 minutes. I told myself I would at least run (hobble?) the last .2. I just wanted to be done and get that damn medal!

I did finish in 4:50:45-my third worst finishing time ever in my 9th marathon! The first was KC Marathon in 2011 at 5:17:56, followed by Route 66, 2013 in Oklahoma at 5:04:37. All three times (three strikes) were a result of IT band flares. I have no one to blame but myself.

Two tales (in pics) of beginnings and endings:

Beginning & End

Pre-Race & Post-Race

What Went Wrong & What I Learned: Every run-race or otherwise, should be a learning experience. Yes, it was hot & humid and is estimated that over 2000 people dropped out. No, the course was not what I expected. I never look at a course prior to a race. But I had just done Hospital Hill for goodness sakes! As I reviewed my Garmin, I had a  pretty good race up until mile 13-16. Heat has never really been an issue for me. As a rule, I like hills. My problem was laziness. What???

Let me explain. Since I qualified for Boston for 2017 last fall at Twin Cities, I kind of let things slide. Especially after I got sick in March and had to forfeit the 100 miler I signed up for. I have taken a LOT of rest days, and not pushed myself like I know I should have. As I said before, I really did not have a goal time per say for this race, but somewhere between 4 and 4.5 hours would have been desirable. I am 10 pounds heavier than this time last year. True, a lot is muscle, but I have more around my middle than I like. For the past three years, I have been consistent with core work to strengthen my back, and hips. I have not done one lick of core work this year mostly because I find it totally BORING! I have weak hips, back, & glutes. I have work to do.

Hopefully I will have a better report after the Marine Corps Marathon this fall. On the flip side, this was one of the funnest marathons I have ever participated in because I was there with my local running family. They are the best and I am so glad that our paths have crossed. They are some of the MOST hard working, dedicated people I have ever met & who NEVER give up! They truly made this a memorable weekend.

Running Friends are the Best!

Toasting to the Future

“Run when you can, walk if you have to, crawl if you must; just never give up.”

–Dean Karnazes

Hope to see you out on the roads or trails!

Stephanie

Next up: Stars & Stripes 5k on the 4th of July and taking on Psycho Summer 10 miler 7/23!

 

 

 

For the Love of the Run

Wow, it is May 4! Just another day to many of us. Second month of the second quarter and the weather has been a little schizophrenic. I like it HOT. In fact- the hotter, the better. Screw those cold weather runs! Actually, the low 50s is sort of a runner “sweet spot” but I cool down very quickly and get cold rather easily. At any rate, I will run in whatever weather if my running family is out there too.

I love running. No other way to put it, pure and simple! There is nothing I would rather do in my idle time, and when you get to do it with others, it is all the sweeter. Don’t misunderstand, I enjoy my solo runs as well. In fact, they make up the bulk of my running. It just makes the time with others all that more awesome. It is a community of commonness, a fellowship of perseverance. We’re all out there for the common goal of competing with no one other than ourselves in pursuit of pushing ourselves to the limit.

As much as I love running and what it has done for my health, body, and mind, I love that it has brought people into my life that I would have otherwise never met. They just “get it.” By “it” I mean the struggles-battling injuries, trying to get faster while not getting injured, getting the nutrition “just right,” wearing the correct shoe for your gait, pace, racing, body lube, recovery…the list goes on & on! Struggles…THEY GET IT!

They also get it when you talk about the time when you first finished a 5k, 10k, half marathon, marathon, & ultra marathon. They relive the ecstasy of a new “PR” even if it is just by a few seconds, and they rejoice with you. They are the people with the most “intestinal fortitude” on earth! If I was stranded on an island, I would want runners with me. We don’t give up and we don’t give in. We persevere to the end.

To all of my running family past and present: I want to tell you how grateful I am for you. I watch you, I admire you, I feel your pain when you have to take time off for an injury or illness. I get it when you get in a “rut.” I get pissed at you when you talk negatively about your run and that you “only” did 4 miles, or that you “only” had a 9:48 pace. We are all built differently and we all have “off” days. You all are phenomenal. It brings me great joy and pleasure to run with you, even if it is just in passing and we give each other a “high five” or whether we are just acquaintances via social media. Don’t ever underestimate yourselves or give up on your dreams.

We were passionately destined to meet. We are family…we are runners!

Hope to see you out on the road or trails,

Stephanie

“I learned that if you want it bad enough, no matter how bad it is, you can make it.” -Gale Sayers

This Onion Called Life

Here it is the last day of 2015 according to the Gregorian calendar. What a year this has been! I don’t really make “New Year’s” resolutions since a resolution is defined as “a firm decision to do or not do something” (Google search). I feel that saying I will or will not do something for 365 days is to set myself up for a fall. I prefer daily resolutions, those being different than commitments (Google Search).

Commitment: The state or quality of being dedicated to a cause, activity, etc.

I can commit to things months down the road and “Lord willing and the creek don’t rise,” and I’m still breathing, or don’t have a family emergency, I will be there, do whatever. We’ve all had those disappointments when someone said they were going to be there for us and they let us down. Which brings me to the topic of de-cluttering.

My oh my how I have accumulated stuff over the years-and STUFFED it! Finding stuff I forgot I had is almost like Christmas. So I resolute on a daily basis to throw away/give away SOMETHING. I have read articles that state a de-cluttered living space helps to de-clutter your mind.

I have also committed to, and resolute on a daily basis to de-clutter my life of negativity and of those people who choose to live there. Yes, I realize that everything cannot always be sunshine & roses, but I am speaking more of a constant state of being that some have that has become a way of life. If it/they, does/do not grow me, lift me up, or make me a better person, I have no place for it/them in my life. Life is too short to be spent wallowing in the mire with others and their stinkin’ thinkin’!

I looked back at my photos from this past year and realized that I have a lot of phenomenal people in my life. A lot of them I just recently met the last quarter of the year. I love taking photos because to me it is “capturing life.” I must confess that I was at a really low point at the end of the summer because I allowed one or two people to wreak havoc on my emotions. Notice I said allowed.

We teach people how to treat us by what we allow. I have made a commitment to myself that I will never allow myself to be mistreated again-by friends, family, co-workers, or acquaintances. Some may call it selfish/harsh/unfriendly, whatever. They are generally the offenders who will always come up with excuses for their actions. They can all wallow in the pig pen together and share their filth. I choose to not be a part of it. That being said, old habits die hard. When one has bad habits, they have to learn how to replace them with good ones to be successful. One such good habit I have acquired is embracing the power of community. I cannot state enough how making a commitment to be a part of a running group has made me a better person. I hate having to miss it at times due to work obligations.

There truly is power in numbers and having others to do those long runs with has been a wonderful thing. It has also brought me out of my comfort zone of running in cold weather since I am a cold weather weenie. Being uncomfortable is the only way we grow. PLUS, I am around like minded people who share the love of running and are great encouragers. They aren’t there to judge me or find fault. Runners are some of the most upbeat/positive people on the planet! We may fall down in our goals (or in my case literally, lol), but we get back in the game and keep on truckin’!

Just a “few” of the awesome run group

 

Another great community is my work family. They are some of the BEST group of RNs/CNAs that I have EVER worked with. Such professionalism, fortitude & a great team. We are not out to “eat” each other, but to help each other and do what is best for our patients. I couldn’t have made a better move than when I moved to my current unit. Love those gals!

I will be the first to admit that there are daily resolutions that I fall short-I am human after all. Such as the 10  day no sugar challenge between Thanksgiving & Christmas. I made it 5 days and decided that I missed my chocolate milk a little too much. I may try it again at some point, but not any time soon. I also fell just 50 miles short of my goal of 1,500 miles ran for the year, and that’s okay too.

On The Horizon

Goal to run 2,016 miles in 2016. That is entirely attainable, I just need to make a plan.

Training for and completing my first 100 miler. I have committed to this, so I will do it.

More trail runs. Knock off a few more states in my quest for a 1/2 or full  marathon in each state.

Meet more amazing people and be that person for others.

Continue to learn and grow as a person and find the beauty in every day.

I know people may get tired of hearing about my running, but how can one not talk about the thing that has made such a difference in one’s life? I often wonder what I would have been like if I had never made this incredible sport part of my life. I can honestly say in some regards, that running has saved my life. It has definitely saved my sanity. I hope everyone can find that sweet spot-whatever it may be, that helps them in their quest for health & happiness in 2016.

Until We Meet Again,

Stephanie

Life is like an onion, you peel off one layer at a time, and sometimes you cry – Les Brown